There is a green jadeware bowl sitting on the kitchen table. In it are four ripe bananas. I keep buying bananas and letting them ripen, planning on making banana bread. I have the sour cream and butter and vanilla and sugar and flour, all the ingredients needed to make the banana bread. But I don't make the banana bread. Sometimes I think that the kitchen is too cold and I don't want to work there. Before the depression I was always too busy, and too exhausted. I didn't want to waste what little mental focus I had on making banana bread, it was always more important to paint or exercise or blog. Banana bread is one of my favorite foods. But I suppose that I don't like to cook. My husband was always disapproving when I finally threw out the rotten bananas. It was money wasted. They get to a point where they are almost liquid within their brown skins. And then I would go the grocery store and buy new bananas, planning this time to be good. Now the new bananas are past their peak and I want to throw them out again.
I'm not going to buy new bananas for a long while.