My husband and I had different views about how Barak Obama started on his path to the White House.
I said that someone from the democratic party saw Obama speak and thought to themselves, "With the right team, this guy could be president". The democratic power man approached Obama and said to him, "We can give you the engine that with you at the reigns, will bring you straight to the White House. Can you see yourself as president?"
My husband said that the start was much different. He said that Obama said to himself one day, "I can be president." He dreamed his own dream. And then he went about finding the people to back him that would make it happen.
The difference between my husband and I is that he saw the begining as self initiated, while I saw it being imposed from the outside. I guess I didn't believe that a person can look themselves in the mirror and dream so high.
I don't look in the mirror and dream very high.
I am currently selling my paintings, in my own words, "to get rid of them". I despirately want them to find new homes. If it were about making money I would hold out until I could get a better price for them. I look at a painting, think of all the work that went into it, and despair when I think of the money I'm saying that I'll take in return. I obviously don't think I have much talent. What I think will sell the painting is its cheap price, not anything especially wonderful inherent in the work.
I placate myself by saying that if my work sells, if people show that they want it, I'll increase the prices. I'm waiting for a sign to tell me that I'm worth something. I'm waiting for somebody else to tell me I'm a good artist because I can't look in the mirror and say this about myself.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
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