Relief

I feel better today. Painted, not very much, just enough so that the canvas now is completely covered with paint. This painting now is going to be moved from my table top easel to a standing floor easel to dry. So much of it is wet paint. What I painted today will be treated with layers of colored transparent paint, darkening and softening the colors. I almost can't stand paint on canvass that comes directly out of the tube. Either the color is blended in with other colors or it is layered over with transparent paint. I have a small second painting which is dry and ready for more coats of paint. I simply could not switch mental gears and go from one painting to another in the same morning. Obsession is such a strong force. It focuses on one object at a time. I need the span of a day and a night to change the commitment of my heart.

I don't feel like dying today. I have energy. I believe that once I have rested from painting I will walk and jog on my treadmill. I know that the work I do on the treadmill will keep me healthy and prolong my life. If I am to have a prolonged life then that means that I will paint more and better paintings before I die.

I sat looking at the painting that now has no bare spots of canvass and I tried to imagine it finished. Would it be something that was worthy of a museum? I decided not. But would it enhance any room that it was hung in? I decided that it would add color and mystery. I can't wait for it to be finished so that I can frame it and hang it in my kitchen. It is destined I think for my next show at Gallery in the Woods, something that is as much as two years away. The kitchen is one of the premiere showplaces in my apartment. There are two wide doors that cover an alcove where there is a washer and dryer. The doors have hanging hooks in them. I have tried hanging my father's art next to my art and the combination was a dismal failure. My work overpowered my father's work. The colors and the content of my paintings are so strong that I need to put only my original work on these doors - then there is balance.

This painting is to be titled "The Four Candles" and it has a lot of black in it. The black paint looks very different wet and dry. Wet it is glossy and rich, dry it is dirty and feeble. To return the black to a bold color I will cover this painting, after it had dried for a month, with retouch varnish. The varnish is of course clear and transparent. What I need it for is to bring back all the benefits of the wet black paint. I've only used the retouch varnish once before and I noticed that while it had a great effect on the black and areas that were awash with transparent paint, the more mat colors of flesh stayed mat. There should not be the sensation of uniform high shine, which suits me fine. Too much gloss is distracting. I already know what the frame of the painting will look like. It is wide satin black, a far less reflective black than the oil paint with the retouch varnish over it, and the two blacks will contrast with one another nicely.